STAYING POSITIVE

Times can be hard…..good careers and jobs becoming scarcer, single parenthood, divorce, cost of living rising and wages staying where they were five years ago.  With pressures increasing and relief systems harder and harder to access, how do you stay positive?

There is no pat answer for all.  Some principles can be applied in most situations but please remember that if you feel that depression is overwhelming and you have suicidal feelings at all, see your doctor, talk to a professional or confide in someone close to you at the very least.  Another important note for you to make to yourself, is that feeling down sometimes, is normal.  There is a tremendous difference between feeling down for a day or even two, and being clinically depressed.  I generally give myself a day to cry, be angry and feel down, when things are overwhelming me.  It is cathartic and gives me vision of what I really want, through the tears.

Wake up in the morning praying / thinking / knowing good things will happen.  Do not let one bad thing like stubbing your toe or spilling your coffee, set the pace for your day.  If you are late, perhaps it is so that you are not in accident or stuck in an elevator.  We do not know what we are saved from,  as we cannot know what has not happened.  You do not need to be religious to believe in SOMETHING…the universe, Law of Attraction, God or Karma.   Most of all, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!  Give yourself permission to dream, to be happy and to not let the opinions of others matter enough to break your happiness.

Even the worst times pass.  the moment is just that…the MOMENT.  I have been through some terrible times that I thought would never end.  I have questioned God, my own strength and my ability to survive what seemed to be everything going wrong at once.  I have asked why me?  I hate when people turn it around and ask why not me….I can list a thousand reasons why not me.   I do not have all of the answers but I can tell you these simple truths.

Tomorrow is another day.   Somebody, somewhere cares about you and would miss you if you were not there.  There are solutions to every problem.  They may take what seems like a long time and they may be scary, but they are there waiting for you.  There is something in this world that makes you smile so find it and keep it close.  It may be a piece of music, a picture, a pet or a distant memory.  Use your sadness, frustration, fear or anger to propel yourself forward.  Never let yourself stay in the moment.  Even though it does not fee like it at the time, you are not alone.  You are not the only person to have gone through the situation and chances are,   someone close to you in going through it at the same time you are.  Find resources, get creative and do not be shy.  We tend to want to keep our burdens to yourself but if no one knows, no one can help you.  most bad situations did not happen overnight and they will not disappear overnight.

A Life Coach can be your ear and help you find your motivation.  A program designed specifically for you, will teach you to find your joy, your energy and your future.  Write to me at andrea@unleashtheknow.com to start your get started now.  What is waiting for you on the other side of now?

Fibromyalgia: How real is it anyway?

First, let me say, I do have Fibromyalgia.  I was diagnosed about 15 years ago.and while there was not much the doctor could do for me at the time, it helped just to know I was not crazy. I had been going to doctors for about 2 years trying to figure out what was wrong.  I was told to take a vacation, told to reduce my stress (single parent of 3….reduce stress how exactly??) and I was told it was in my mind.  My complaints included constant pain, constant exhaustion and depression.  I was eventually  able to find a doctor who sent me for various tests, mostly to rule out a variety of problems including lupus and leukemia.  Finally I was referred to a specialist in rheumatoid arthritis.who tested me and diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia.  I was given a few prescriptions and essentially told good luck. At least I knew that what I had, had a name.  It was still a never talked about illness and was considered an imaginary illness.  i knew it was not.  It is and was as real as any other form of rheumatoid arthritis.  (RA)

Fibro is a form of RA.  It is in the muscle rather than the bones, unlike the more commonly known and recognized form of RA.  it can have a variety of symptoms, most commonly muscle pain (more than ache), digestive problems, depression and lack of REM sleep.  the depression may be a separate symptom or may be a side effect from the exhaustion.  How does it feel?  You know that feeling when you twist your neck the wrong way?  That is something I feel daily, to various degrees but it never goes away.  At times I cannot hold a pen or open a bottle.  I often wake up as tired as when i went to bed.  i fight depression frequently.  Not the kind of depression that would make me suicidal…I am never that.  I love life and I know the bad feelings will pass.  

So all of this being said, I must now admit that there are a few non medicinal  things that I have found to help tremendously.  Number one and the single most important one is that I do not think about it everyday.  i joined various Fibro discussion boards and groups and in virtually every one of them, everyone spend their time posting about how terrible life is.  With so much energy talking about the negative, the doctors, the medications and the new sources of pain, these issues are bound to grow.  yes the boards are to talk about fibro but when someone (me) tries to interject positives and positive messages, complaints about me were made and I finally left them. This is very common though.  While it is very real and does affect your life,it is not insurmountable.  I coach people with Fibro and other similar issues.  My goal, when setting up a program for a client, is to teach them to remember to live.  Fibro is NOT a death sentence.  If anything, I have learned to live better.  I have learned to listen to my body, to take care of myself and that I matter.  These are all empowering decisions which I might not have made without Fibro being in my life. So it has empowered me.  I have learned to be grateful for all of the incredible people in my life.  I appreciated them before but wasn’t grateful.  I didn’t understand the value of gratitude and expressing my gratitude to the universe.   There is so much more that I can do than cannot do.  I have learned to say no, to be in control of my time and energy.  I feel wonderful.  I am happy, I am doing things that I love and am in control of my life.  

Fibromyalgia is real.  The difference between someone following a program geared to live life and someone talking about what is wrong, is LIFE.  Do not let it pass by as you suffer loudly.  Embrace it and the power it gives you.  For a program designed for you, contact me at andrea@unleashtheknow.com  Let me help you help yourself.  

Self Awareness and Coaching

Self Awareness; The Value of Early Discovery

Self awareness is where our dreams come from, how we know what we feel, where our intuition resides and where opportunity lies. My clients must develop their sense of self awareness early on in the coaching process so that the direction and desire to succeed can be articulated and the path laid out to make the dreams reality.

Once self awareness is developed and the client has begun to “tune in” to him or herself, the realization that there are no limits, sets in.  We begin to recognize our strengths.  We can acknowledge all that we have already accomplished and therefore, all that can be accomplished.   Self awareness is the key that opens the door to the future.  Recognizing our strengths and our own power means that we can change the direction we are heading in and redirect our energy into positive outcomes and a greater quality of life.

Some within my client base suffer from chronic illnesses such as Fibromyalgia.  As I also live with it, I know and understand how it can turn one’s life upside down. I also know, after suffering with it for fifteen years, that self awareness has allowed me to reduce my medication by over 75%.   Self awareness teaches one to focus on specific parts of the heart and mind, redirecting the negative energy into positive energy, even pain can be reduced.   It has changed bad days and good days to good days and great days

Self awareness gives the individual the power to be in charge of their own life.  As stated by Steve Jones in the video “it puts them in the drivers seat”  A client who cannot or will not develop this, will have limited success in any coaching program.  An individual must be conscious of what their options are, what options they are acting on, the results of their actions and the lessons learned from those actions.  Too many people go through life in a fog in terms of conscious decision making, unclear and without learning about themselves.  This leads to repetition of mistakes, poor choices and remaining in the same “stuck” spot throughout their lives (if they are fortunate enough not to slip backwards).  Consciousness or self awareness wakes you up!!!  It makes you say “hold on….if I do this….this is likely to happen whereas if I do that….that is likely to happen.  I have always done things this way and it hasn’t been working well for me.  Now I know that doing it THAT way is more likely to have the results I am looking for”.

Self awareness does not mean letting others make decisions for you.  While there is value in the experiences and paths of loved ones and trusted friends, they are not living your life.  They generally do not have to live with the consequences of your actions and it is nearly impossible that anyone else knows every single thought or feeling you have.  They are often unaware or skeptical of your dreams and truest goals.  Accepting the value of the experience of others may be part of good decisions and moving forward, but without self awareness and consciousness, you end up living their lives and dreams.

Self awareness leads to being your authentic self and living your authentic life.    Your authentic self is who you are under all of the turmoil and stress and fears.  It is your strength and passion and joy. It is who you are under all of the stuff we accumulate from the day of our birth…until that moment….that realization….that we have one life and one self.  The freedom that comes with self awareness is the greatest gift a person can give themselves.  The earlier a client discovers it, the more success he or she will have and the further they will go in their dreams.  My role as a Life Coach is to show the client that who he or she is, that the dreams and goals that they hold deepest in their hearts, are possible and that knowing that and believing in that is the most difficult step in the process.  With self awareness, full consciousness of self, the limits of the client are sky high.  He or she will not give up when obstacles pop up, opinions of others will not break the spirit and the coaching program will become self directed and successful.