A CRISIS FOR OUR YOUTH

I do not know if it is due to the easy access to information these days, or if things really have changed for our youth, but it seems they are in crisis and this crisis is affecting more and more young people everyday.  I am inclined to think that the crisis is actually on the rise but easy access to information through the internet is one of the causes.  What I am going to say here is not politically correct and many may disagree.  I welcome a respectful discussion on here as talking about it is the only way change can happen.

The crisis I am referring to is the rising incidents of teen suicide and “mental illness” (depression).  Until about 20 years ago these topics were never talked about.  Until about ten years ago, these things were merely whispers at school and in homes.,  With the advent of Facebook and Twitter, mass emails and texting, the whispers have gotten very loud.  No one in the western world has not heard about teen suicide and depression.  So why has it reached crisis level or is it not there yet?  Is depression really mental illness?  What may be some of the root causes?

I do not know if technically, teen suicide has reached a crisis level (isn’t any teen committing suicide a crisis to family and friends?) however I am fairly certain that statistics would support depression “mental illness” having reached that level, at least as far as the healthcare system is concerned.  Teen depression is often attributed to events in a pre teen or teen’s life.  Bullying, gossip and loneliness are most often cited as causes. These are not new phenomenon and in fact, goes back to biblical time to Joseph and his brothers.  How did Joseph survive?  How did I survive the bullying I endured as a kid and teen?  What about the millions in between who also survived bullying without being diagnosed as mentally ill and without committing suicide?  I believe we do a disservice to our youth by applying labels to them such as mental illness.  I also believe that by turning a bad incident into a time of distress instead of a teachable moment, we foster the thought and belief that something is wrong with the child and that it will follow them through their lives.  Negative labels are a dangerous thing.  The labels make us look for blame and excuses as well as taking away hope.  Does bullying hurt?  OF COURSE!!  How is best to deal with it?  Parents need to talk to their children, early on in life, about life.  I told my children as they were approaching high school years, that they would be the worst years of their lives but once they were past it, the best would begin.  They knew kids could be mean but that those were not the people meant to be in their lives as adults.  They knew life could be hard and that they would not have certain things that their friends would have…but that it was okay.  I gave them security about themselves and home.  I did not disparage their hurt or anger.  I validated how unfair “it” was.  I also asked them to examine their own behavior and choices.  As an example, valuing the opinion of someone who does not value them.  We talked about why it was important, who were other choices for friends and associates and what else was going on at school.  Granted, I raised my children pre social media and texting days but my responses would have been the same now.  If my child went to a party, got drunk and pictures were taken and shared, I would say DO NOT GET DRUNK, BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE.  Sexting, texting, selfies and facebook posts are choices for which each person must be responsible.  I would never put myself in the position of an embarrassing photo being posted nor would my children.  I would value my own body and mind too much to allow private pictures to be available publicly.  How is simply by not allowing them to be taken.  If, unfortunately, a pic was taken of one of my children and passed on, the embarrassment would be painful and would certainly cause him or her to change their public behaviour.  it might even cause me and them to consider options to legally stop the sharing.  It would not remove the fact that the child put him or herself in that position nor that the photo will be forgotten in time.   Pre teens and teenagers need to understand that the future goes vastly beyond the moment.  It is very difficult to understand that at that age, but it is our role as parents to re enforce that message.  

We are living in a medication age.  For every problem, there is a medication to fix it.  Ritlain has been prescribed almost as frequently antibiotics.  Anti depressants are the new Ritalin it seems.  Is depression a mental illness? In some cases it may be but rarely. Most often it is a faze of life.  It is part of the growing up process  No one goes through life all smiley and cotton candy.  Life is a series of ups and downs, learning, growing, choices and decisions. As a parent we are responsible to strengthen our children, empower them with knowledge and understanding.  We feed their bodies and must feed their minds and spirits.  I am not suggesting we support our children less, I am simply suggesting we coddle them less.  We must prepare them for the real world of adults.  Bosses and co workers can be mean but if we are not working we cannot pay the bills.  Bill collectors are far more vicious than the boss  

Talk to your children when they are young.  Remind them that you love them, they are powerful human beings and that even when bad things happen, good things are coming down the road.  Teach them that they are in control of their lives.and that they have a safe place to fall always.  Teach them that they are accountable for their decisions and to think about the consequences.  Let them know that everyone will not treat them well. Show them your high school year book so that they can see and understand that most or all people from their high school years will become strangers in adulthood and therefore they are not important enough to affect the future.  Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem for the teen but is a permanent problem to  a temporary situation to the family and friends around that teen.  One suicide tends to be followed by others within a specific social circle.  Ask your child / teenager how he or she would feel if it was one of his or her friends.  Encourage the friendships that are true and unconditional and let the fights and arguments pass without creating a dramatic scene around them.  Most teens and pre teens do not need medication. They need to be empowered, encouraged and assured of their own identity.  

Parents:  Please stop allowing others to place labels on your children which may damage an already fragile ego and sense of self. Support and encourage but be real with your children from early elementary age right through their teen years.  Do not lie to them or sugar coat life.  Be gentle, be empathetic but not weak.  Watch for signs of real chemical depression or other mental illness.  Talk to your family doctor but most importantly, talk to your child.  Do not punish honesty from them….keeping the communication flowing is so vital to getting past it.  Encourage your teen or pre teen to see all that he or she has and place an emphasis on that rather than what he or she does not have.

A Certified Coach with experience with teens can be the best tool you invest in. A good coach will watch for signs that your child needs more professional help but in most cases a coach will guide your child towards a positive future.  

http://www.UnLeashtheKNOW.com        andrea@unleashtheknow.com

 

A DIFFERENT KIND OF POST

I have heard so many stories of unhappy relationships, fear of losing the love in someone’s life, cheating, sadness of uncertainty.  I felt inspired to write this to honour those who are questioning themselves, who think they need to change so keep their love..  Let me know what you think…

ME

I will not give up any part of me

To have a small part of you

If you don’t value me just as I am

It is not me you value at all

You want to mold me and change me

You want to make me fit your plan

I’m not clay, not sand, not pen in hand

I am polished stone, silk and fire

I am strong and soft and fierce

I face the sun, the warmth flows from me

I am me and I will not give up any part of me

To have a small part of you

I do not want to share you, I do not want to cry

I do not want to wonder if it is truth or lies

I am not an option if someone better doesn’t come

Love me for me, love me as I am

I will not give up any part of me

To have a small part of you

 

www,unleashtheknow.com      andrea@unleashtheknow.com

STAYING POSITIVE

Times can be hard…..good careers and jobs becoming scarcer, single parenthood, divorce, cost of living rising and wages staying where they were five years ago.  With pressures increasing and relief systems harder and harder to access, how do you stay positive?

There is no pat answer for all.  Some principles can be applied in most situations but please remember that if you feel that depression is overwhelming and you have suicidal feelings at all, see your doctor, talk to a professional or confide in someone close to you at the very least.  Another important note for you to make to yourself, is that feeling down sometimes, is normal.  There is a tremendous difference between feeling down for a day or even two, and being clinically depressed.  I generally give myself a day to cry, be angry and feel down, when things are overwhelming me.  It is cathartic and gives me vision of what I really want, through the tears.

Wake up in the morning praying / thinking / knowing good things will happen.  Do not let one bad thing like stubbing your toe or spilling your coffee, set the pace for your day.  If you are late, perhaps it is so that you are not in accident or stuck in an elevator.  We do not know what we are saved from,  as we cannot know what has not happened.  You do not need to be religious to believe in SOMETHING…the universe, Law of Attraction, God or Karma.   Most of all, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!  Give yourself permission to dream, to be happy and to not let the opinions of others matter enough to break your happiness.

Even the worst times pass.  the moment is just that…the MOMENT.  I have been through some terrible times that I thought would never end.  I have questioned God, my own strength and my ability to survive what seemed to be everything going wrong at once.  I have asked why me?  I hate when people turn it around and ask why not me….I can list a thousand reasons why not me.   I do not have all of the answers but I can tell you these simple truths.

Tomorrow is another day.   Somebody, somewhere cares about you and would miss you if you were not there.  There are solutions to every problem.  They may take what seems like a long time and they may be scary, but they are there waiting for you.  There is something in this world that makes you smile so find it and keep it close.  It may be a piece of music, a picture, a pet or a distant memory.  Use your sadness, frustration, fear or anger to propel yourself forward.  Never let yourself stay in the moment.  Even though it does not fee like it at the time, you are not alone.  You are not the only person to have gone through the situation and chances are,   someone close to you in going through it at the same time you are.  Find resources, get creative and do not be shy.  We tend to want to keep our burdens to yourself but if no one knows, no one can help you.  most bad situations did not happen overnight and they will not disappear overnight.

A Life Coach can be your ear and help you find your motivation.  A program designed specifically for you, will teach you to find your joy, your energy and your future.  Write to me at andrea@unleashtheknow.com to start your get started now.  What is waiting for you on the other side of now?

Is Sochi Ready for the World?

Sochi Russia, site of the upcoming 2014 Winter Olympic Games, is finding itself under more and more scrutiny.  Side by side toilets within the same stall is only the latest question being raised.  With design concepts like that, one can only wonder what will come out once the event is over. 

Anti gay legislation which made the headlines for the past few months, has prompted human rights groups to question the legitimacy of the games, with calls for protests and boycotts to emphasize their point.

Security, however, is much more of a worry and primary in the minds of all tourists and participants attending next month.  Rumours of the infamous  Black widow, Ruzan Ibragimova, being already in Sochi have fueled worries that began when a terrorist bomb went off in Sochi, followed just days later by another.  In total, there are reportedly 30 people killed and injured a further 70, some very seriously.   The Black Widow is said to be the widow of a Chechyn fighter and it is she who may have been the mastermind behind the terrorist attack on a high end shopping mall in South Africa last year which killed over 70 people.  The term Black Widow, commonly used to portray widows of Chechyn fighters is particularly attached to one in particular at this time.  Her photo is posted around Sochi however a master of terror is often a master of disguise. 

Who are the Chechnya fighters and what do they want?  The conflict has very early roots, going back to the 1700s.  The present day conflict with Russia however, can be traced back to the 1990s, when, the Soviet Union disintegrated around 1991 and Chechnya became independent.  The region known as Chechnya lays between Russia and the Middle East and is therefore a vital route for Russia. In 1999, Russia invaded Chechnya and brought it under control of Moscow.  They had held independence for eight years and it is the fierce pride of those independent Chechnyas that has spawned these terrorist attacks including suicide bombings. 

So how safe are the Olympic Games going to be?  Comparisons to the Munich Games have been made.  Some tourists have talked about not going.  Security will be both visible and intense.  The CBC reports that numerous Olympic committees in Europe have received threats in recent days.  They have been shrugged off according to CBC reports through the Associated Press.  President Obama had already declined to attend, sending instead a delegation to represent the USA.  This may have been in protest around the anti-gay legislation, it may have been due to intelligence reports regarding the ongoing conflict with Chechnya, or it may be due to domestic issues such as the economy and healthcare.  The Presidents of Germany and France will also not be attending nor will Prime Minister Harper of Canada.   

The games begin on February 7^th  and will end on February 23^rd.  If all goes well, it will bring glory to Sochi, those countries winning gold and will bring all of the athletes home safely.  Our televisions in North America will be broadcasting most events live, then repeated to accommodate time zones.  There is a nine hour difference between Sochi Russia and Toronto Canada. 

Is Sochi ready?  We will know on February 24^th for sure.  Until then, let the games begin.

Fibromyalgia: How real is it anyway?

First, let me say, I do have Fibromyalgia.  I was diagnosed about 15 years ago.and while there was not much the doctor could do for me at the time, it helped just to know I was not crazy. I had been going to doctors for about 2 years trying to figure out what was wrong.  I was told to take a vacation, told to reduce my stress (single parent of 3….reduce stress how exactly??) and I was told it was in my mind.  My complaints included constant pain, constant exhaustion and depression.  I was eventually  able to find a doctor who sent me for various tests, mostly to rule out a variety of problems including lupus and leukemia.  Finally I was referred to a specialist in rheumatoid arthritis.who tested me and diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia.  I was given a few prescriptions and essentially told good luck. At least I knew that what I had, had a name.  It was still a never talked about illness and was considered an imaginary illness.  i knew it was not.  It is and was as real as any other form of rheumatoid arthritis.  (RA)

Fibro is a form of RA.  It is in the muscle rather than the bones, unlike the more commonly known and recognized form of RA.  it can have a variety of symptoms, most commonly muscle pain (more than ache), digestive problems, depression and lack of REM sleep.  the depression may be a separate symptom or may be a side effect from the exhaustion.  How does it feel?  You know that feeling when you twist your neck the wrong way?  That is something I feel daily, to various degrees but it never goes away.  At times I cannot hold a pen or open a bottle.  I often wake up as tired as when i went to bed.  i fight depression frequently.  Not the kind of depression that would make me suicidal…I am never that.  I love life and I know the bad feelings will pass.  

So all of this being said, I must now admit that there are a few non medicinal  things that I have found to help tremendously.  Number one and the single most important one is that I do not think about it everyday.  i joined various Fibro discussion boards and groups and in virtually every one of them, everyone spend their time posting about how terrible life is.  With so much energy talking about the negative, the doctors, the medications and the new sources of pain, these issues are bound to grow.  yes the boards are to talk about fibro but when someone (me) tries to interject positives and positive messages, complaints about me were made and I finally left them. This is very common though.  While it is very real and does affect your life,it is not insurmountable.  I coach people with Fibro and other similar issues.  My goal, when setting up a program for a client, is to teach them to remember to live.  Fibro is NOT a death sentence.  If anything, I have learned to live better.  I have learned to listen to my body, to take care of myself and that I matter.  These are all empowering decisions which I might not have made without Fibro being in my life. So it has empowered me.  I have learned to be grateful for all of the incredible people in my life.  I appreciated them before but wasn’t grateful.  I didn’t understand the value of gratitude and expressing my gratitude to the universe.   There is so much more that I can do than cannot do.  I have learned to say no, to be in control of my time and energy.  I feel wonderful.  I am happy, I am doing things that I love and am in control of my life.  

Fibromyalgia is real.  The difference between someone following a program geared to live life and someone talking about what is wrong, is LIFE.  Do not let it pass by as you suffer loudly.  Embrace it and the power it gives you.  For a program designed for you, contact me at andrea@unleashtheknow.com  Let me help you help yourself.  

THE GIFT OF GIVING

Yes, giving to others is a gift to ourselves.  Yes, seeing the joy of others is one of the most self satisfying thing one can see.  Yes, smiles are contagious.  

When I think back on the happiest moments in my life, beyond the birth of my children (happy labour was over but also I had a healthy beautiful baby) and grandchildren (I was blessed to be there for both births), the other happiest moments were when I was able to do something wonderful for someone.  Whether it was a stranger I bought dinner for when he clearly could not afford it, or introducing two good friends together and then they fell in love, or buying a special gift for a loved one, it gave me such tremendous joy that still stay with me, years later.  

Through various sources of media, I have read so many stories of love.  The Brampton Ontario man who bought dinner for a couple who reminded him of himself and his wife who had passed away just the week before, Sam Bern who LIVED love and empowerment or Shemar Moore,who, despite his fame and very handsome looks, puts so much focus on his mom. and fighting MS which she lives with..  These people have figured out about giving, about love and about  gratitude.  I feel so blessed when I can give to someone else.  Whether it is connecting two people or helping guide someone to a better place, I cannot imagine feeling happier, at least until I have more grandchildren.

 

Life holds challenges for everyone.  Most people have bad memories.  Some are worse than others but when living n those terrible, scarey, lonely moments, they are the worse thing possible.   I am sympathetic to pain and what the past can hold over your present.  I also know that five minutes ago, five years ago and fifty years ago are all in the past tense.  They do not define my future or even my present.  They do not define WHO I AM.  They are things that have helped mold me into a stronger, more stubborn and more grateful person.  I know what is truly important and what matters.  I know that putting a smile on a person’s face, a skip in their step or replacing a bad memory with a good one will always be the best thing i can do for me.

Do something nice for someone, then comment here an tell me about it.  

For help finding your joy, contact me at andrea@unleashtheknow.com

What Can a Life Coach Do For Me??

Do you ever watch Dr. Phil and say to yourself “I could have figured that out”?  I think that most people do, at least most of the time.  What you cannot offer however, is the resources that he has at hand.  I am not always sure that what he offers is the best solution but it is at least a beginning.  The real problem is that, in order to get those resources from him, you need to go on his internationally seen show and put all of your business out there for the world to see.

Fighting between family members happens in every family.  It can lead to estrangement, divorce and deep resentment and regrets.  Causes can appear to be money, lack of communication, or disagreements between parents and children.

Why do I say that these causes can “appear to be”?  How many questions do you ask yourself before getting into a fight between you and your family member?  I am not referring to questions such as “how dare he” or “what is her problem” .  The solutions often lie in the questions that you should be asking.  It is so difficult to ask the right questions when in the heat of anger.  How do you know what the right questions are?

The role of a Life Coach is to help you find the right questions, how to ask them and when to ask them.  At times, it is also about who to ask the questions to.  Relationships always have their good times and their bad times.  Whether you can move past the bad times with the love that lies beneath the surface or not, may depend on these questions.  Estrangement between a parent and child, is the saddest of all.   No one wins in that situation.  There are certain specific skills which seem obvious but which are not often innate.  Your private family business should remain between you and the person who can guide you towards resolution.  A Life Coach will ensure privacy and confidentiality.  A Life Coach will show you how to find solutions.  A Life Coach will not hold your hand in a kumbya way but will show you how to move forward in a positive way.

If you have a relationship in your life that is going through rough times but which is too important to you to let go without trying, contact me at http://www.unleashtheknow.com  or write to me at  andrea@unleashtheknow.com  The solutions are within reach.  Invest in them now to save yourself the pain and cost of the alternatives.

Love of family and friends is the single most valuable thing we have in our lives.  I agree with Dr. Phil on one thing.  Awareness without action is worthless.  Act today….I look forward to hearing from you.

http://www.unleashtheknow.com     andrea@unleashtheknow.com

Life is truly what you make it…..How is your life going??

If you are anything like me, you listen to your friends talk about their hardships.  You read hard luck stories on social media.  We watch heart wrenching stories on the news.  It seems like everyone has a story, pain and heartbreak.  We have all suffered loss of family, friends, loved ones.  It seems that everyday there is something about bullying or depression in a public forum or discussion board.  So with all of these stories, is there anyone who doesn’t have a story?  The fact is that NO….there is no one who does not have a story of difficulty.  The difference is that some people find the joy in life and some find the sadness.  

Before I go further, let me tell you a few things about me.  I was bullied from grade one to grade five.  I was inappropriately touched by an “uncle”  My parents didn’t want to hear about it…..and I never felt more alone.  I suffered the death of my only friend at age 9 and now have fibromyalgia.  I was a single parent of three, abandoned by both the father and my family.  But life is AMAZING!!!!  I  am so blessed and my life is filled with joy.  How can I say that?  Because I CHOOSE to.  I am not a victim.  I have no regrets.  I have made a decision to be grateful.for the good and beautiful things and people in my life.  This was not a conscious decision, it was a way of life.  Of course I have cried oceans worth of tears.  I get angry when bad things happen.  I wonder why things do not work out sometimes.  In other words, I am human.  When really terrible things happen, I give myself 24 hours to be hurt, angry and frustrated.  Then I take the negative energy and use it to propel myself forward.  I find solutions.  I refuse to allow negative energy to pull me backwards but that is the only way it can take you.  If you want to move forward, you must fill your self with positive energy.  I turn that negative energy into positive energy by being in touch with my core.  

Your core is your inner self.  That voice in the back of your mind.  It takes focus and consciousness to be aware of your core.  Close your eyes and visualize your inner self.  He or she looks just like you….a mini you.  He or she must be kept warm, safe and be loved. Talk to your inner self.  Do for yourself what you do for your friends.  Why do we find it so easy to embrace those we love, but not ourselves?  Literally give yourself a hug.  Tell yourself that you are worthy and a good person.  Breath deeply as you say it so that the words can penetrate deep inside yourself.  As you are hugging yourself and breathing deeply, visualize all of the things and people in your life that you are grateful for.  Your children, your significant other, the hot water you shower with, the roof over your head and the food and drink you will consume today.  What is your favorite food?  How do you feel when you eat it?  Who is your favorite person?How does it feel when he or she hugs you and holds you?  Focus on that energy and those good feelings.  Let those feelings overtake your core.  Let those feelings push the negative energy out.  Can you feel it?  YES!!!  That is it!!!  Ahhhhhhhhh……can you feel the smile start to creep onto your face?

Now that you know how to give your core what you need when life is overwhelming you, You understand that the pain is real, whether it is physical or emotional,  Do not let that pain define you though.  Live a good strong life,   The best revenge on those who hurt you, is success.  No one has the right to hurt you, but it happens.  Do not be a victim of it.  Be the hero in your own story and you will find your life going differently.

 

LIVE YOUR DREAMS, NOT YOUR FEARS.  For more on how UnLeash the KNOW can help you find your joy, contact me through here or on http://www.unleashtheknow.com  Programs and Workshops page.

From your son,daughter, mother, father, brother, sister, cousin and friend

it is New Year’s Eve…December 31, 2013.  Whether you celebrate at a house party, club, restaurant or large event, please remember three important things.

Number three: Every day is a new day.  Looking backwards will only make you trip and fall.  Look forwards and keep your eye on the prize.  Life is an amazing and wonderful experience when you embrace it and have faith in it.  Grab every positive moment and event.  Experience all that it has to offer.  We all know how bad days, hard times and hurt feelings make us feel.  No one is immune to these experiences so do not let them control your life.  You are in charge, not those things.  Negative thoughts create negative events so keep your thoughts positive.

Number two: Do not let a day pass without telling those that you love, how you feel.  Life is crazy and chaotic.  Time passes without us realizing how fast, sometimes not until it is too late.  We are not guaranteed anything in life, especially not tomorrow.  We always assume that those we love will be there tomorrow, but we all run out of tomorrows eventually.  Pick up the phone, send an email or take the time and energy to write a handwritten letter.  No matter where in the world those loved ones are, let them know.  One of the worst feelings in the world is the feeling of regret for not saying it and getting that call to say it is too late.

Number one: This one I include on behalf of your son and daughter, your husband or wife, your mother and father, your cousin, neighbor and friend.  As you prepare to go out, leave your car at home.  Ensure that in your budget tonight, you have included money for a cab ride home.  If there are programs in your town or city which can get you and your car home safely, then use them.  Book a hotel room or take a bus.  There are so many options.  You may even opt to be a designated driver tonight.  For every one of you who make any of these safe choices, i send you my respect and my gratitude.  So do those who love you and who you love.  If every person makes the intelligent choice, New Year’s Eve will not become a nightmare for anyone.  Let it be new beginnings, not endings.  Be safe, have fun and make 2014 the year of mental and physical health.  Own your choices and make the smart ones.

For information on safe ways home tonight, in Ottawa check out http://www.ottawastart.com  Or call them if you are in another city to see if they have information on programs in your area.

If you think that you are always in control and this message is not for you, contact http://www.MADD.ca or http://www.MADD.org or http://www.tonyspromise.org   Read the stories.

I wish you a happy, safe and prosperous 2014.  UnLeash the KNOW will be bringing you exciting programs and information throughout the year so keep your eye on this page and pass it on.  Love you all.

New Year Resolutions

I hope that everyone enjoyed your Christmas holiday, are enjoying Kwanzaa or enjoyed Chanukah.  Whatever it is that you celebrate, we all have  a new year coming up in just days and with it, New Year Resolutions.  Either weight loss, regular gym attendance, more travel, more income, more joy or finding love are likely on your list.  On January 1, we are all motivated and enthusiastic and determined to succeed.  By February 1, most of these resolutions have been put on a shelf until later….whenever later may be.  Sometime during the year, perhaps on your birthday, perhaps  with a significant change in your circumstances, you think about it again.  So I ask you, what will you DO about it?  How will you make a plan to go back to those resolutions and make a change?  You need a plan.

Let’s begin with a change of vocabulary.  The pressure of New Year Resolutions can be overwhelming.  Do not aim to begin on January 1, 2014.  Begin the day you are reading this.  Everyday is the first day of the rest of your life.  It is a new beginning every time you wake up in the morning.  Prepare yourself to wake up tomorrow and begin with gratitude.  Tomorrow is day one of your Gratitude Plan.  This plan applies to men and women, young or old, fit or fat, wealthy or poor.  Your Gratitude Plan includes acknowledging all that is right and good in your life now, leaving all of “the stuff” from the past in the past and looking forward to the amazing things life is bringing you in the future.

We must all be aware that the most perfect life you see someone else living, is not perfect to them.  Every human being has stresses, worries, fears and pain, both physical and emotional, at times.  So keeping that in perspective,  jealousy and envy can be tossed out the window.  Even when you believe that you are, as a friend of mine says,  “so po that you cannot afford the second o or r” you have something to be grateful for.  A hot drink, sunshine, a hot shower or the clothes on your back.  This may sound very pie in the sky to you…I understand that.  Do yourself a favour though,  give it a try.  What do you have to lose after all?  Do it in the shower every morning.  As you feel the hot water hitting your body, close your eyes and feel the warmth and massaging effect of it.  Say thank you for it.  Having a coffee or tea when you get out?  Imagine it and say thank you again.  Do you have a nice thick towel to wrap yourself up in after the shower?  As you are still under the water, imagine the warmth and softness of the towel.  Does the soap smell good?  Be thankful as you absorb the positive things invading your senses.

By the end of day five, you will not have to search for things to be grateful for.  The list will keep you going after you have dried off and are getting dressed for your day.  Did you stub your toe or wake up late?  Do not let it take over your day.  Make your gratitude a ritual that nothing gets to take away.  You will see such a difference in how the rest of your day progresses that you will find yourself talking to others about it.  It will even negate any bad moments.  You will learn to recognize that they are indeed, only moments in time and are not a reflection of you, your day to come nor do they influence any other activities in your day.

What does this have to do with losing weight or finding love?  Set gratitudes for your body.  Add it to your routine.  When you are in your shower and feeling gratitude, visualize your body as you want it to be  Focus on it.  Feel it.  See it.  Okay….plan your food and exercise for the day with the picture of your new body in your mind.  With a little bit of discipline and focus, you will find yourself saying no to that extra serving of potatoes and saying yes to a walk around the block instead.  Getting into shape truly is a one day at a time and step by step process.  Be grateful for your body and your health.   See your healthy body and know that it is within you. This is a method which has simple to follow directions, easy to understand and puts virtually no stress on you.  You may even find yourself upping the ante sooner rather than later.  You will take a second look at biking in the good weather and getting out more and watching tv less.  Snacks will evolve into healthier choices.  What have you done?  You have created a gratitude frame of mind that leads to lifestyle changes.   The same applies to finding love.  How?

When you learn to recognize all of the good in your life, you will find yourself smiling more, glowing more and walking with more of a bounce in your step.  You will dress with more confidence too.  You will take that extra moment to add a little touch.   I personally make sure that I do not walk out the door in the morning with out earrings and perfume.  You will develop a more attractive and magnetic aura which will, in turn, attract more positive and more charismatic people around you.   Love will be attracted to you and you will be more open to seeing it when it is near you.

A Gratitude Plan is your new life, beginning on the new day.  It does not require  a new year and will not die over time.  It is simple, easy, user friendly and free.  Be grateful in anticipation of good things to come.  Feel those things now and acknowledge them now.   Too many people feel fear in anticipation of something bad potentially happening, even when the odds are they will not actually happen.  Practice anticipating good things instead and see the difference it makes.  Bad things might happen however they do not need to take over your life.  Leave the past where it belongs, under the lessons learned category.

For help with a Life Plan, taking your Gratitude Plan to the next level, contact andrea@unleashtheknow.com.  I will work with you to develop a program specific to you.  Life is to be lived.  Live your dreams, not your fears.